Developing a Relationship With Our Bodies
(Old Post— 2022)
What does having a relationship with your body look like?
It looks so different for everyone, there is no single manual that you can truly use to connect with your body completely. The only manual that exists for your body is inside of you. No one can know it better because no one can experience it the way you do.
Bodies are so amazing, we seriously need to appreciate them way more. We try to mold them into what we think they should do and look like. Instead of listening to them, we ignore their silent pleas and cues. It takes a lot of people serious illness to consider having a healthy relationship with their body. I hope this does not need to happen to you.
Developing a relationship with your body is one of the most satisfying and rewarding experiences. It should be taught when we are kids. A lot of the time we get taught the exact opposite, to be ashamed of our bodies in one way or another. I know for me, as a woman, having body hair has bothered me my entire life. I used to always want to be shaved and waxed because of my shame surrounding it.
I won’t just speak on the shallow relationship we have with our bodies, the cosmetic and outward appearances we’d like to change or improve. I want to speak on our health, our energy levels, our body autonomy when it comes to how we want to be treated, different ways we can eat, and how much sleep is necessary. There are a million little things our bodies are telling us all of the time. I just mentioned a couple, but there is so much more it cannot all be covered here.
I could make a separate blog just to talk about this. It is seriously so important for us to get in contact with our body because it has a wisdom of its own. Think about it, your body carries you through this world and acts as your barrier against it. Protecting it is the least we can do when it gifts us with so many ways of engaging with the world.
How can we start to develop this relationship?
Listen to it whisper, before it begins to scream.
It is simple, your body is always telling you what is going on. In some people, this happens immediately. I am one of those people that if I consume or engage in anything at all, my body will let me know what it thinks immediately. Some others, it takes a couple hours for their body to let them know it might not have been the best idea.
Do you remember when you ate that burrito and there was an explosion in your bathroom? Yeah? That was your body speaking to you. Everything has a cause and effect. Look at it and let your body tell you. If it feels bad or painful, it is not for you! Also know that your feelings are not universal. Although your body did not like that burrito, someone else’s body might thrive and get energized by eating it. We are not all made the same.
Let’s discern between things that are genuinely bad for us and things that might feel uncomfortable but are actually good. Exercise is a great example. If it is hurting, that means the body is saying no, it is saying “this is not something I can handle.” If it is uncomfortable, then it is probably pushing you to the next level. If your body is yelling, listen to it. If it whispers, ask what you can do to better service it.
2. No one knows it better than you.
No one in this world is experiencing what is like to be in your body. Modern science may have an average observation of what certain things should feel and be like, but there are always exceptions. I am not saying don’t listen to a doctor or medical professional. I am saying listen to your body first. Ask it questions, check how it feels.
When your body feels good, it is working great, there are no alarms going off, continue doing what you are doing. If something hurts, itches, feels weird, is moving, looks like it should not be there, that’s when you want to establish the relationship and work on it.
Doctors are great practitioners that want to help you be as healthy as possible. Depending on where you are there will be rules to what this looks like. If anything makes you feel uncomfortable, I say question it, ask why, then decide whether to listen to it. Not everyone feels comfortable with the same things, ask for alternatives, question what is being put in your body, find the autonomy to take care of your body.
Anyone can tell you to do something, but if you don’t want to, or if it feels like it doesn’t work for you, then great. No one is you! Don’t let anyone tell you how you feel or how your body is supposed to react. Our bodies are not made all the same.
3. Make feeling good long-term a priority.
Good feelings don’t come with a hangover. Your body should not just feel good in the moment, it should feel good for a long time after. Sustainability happens when things are changing for the better. The more you listen to your body and give it what it needs, the better it will feel and look.
Examples on the ways you can explore to make your body feel better long term:
Vitamin D: exposure to sun
Sweating: exercise, sports, healthy sex
Eating: when, what, how
Nature: your feet need to connect to the ground
Vitamins are very important, and although the sun has been demonized because of cancer, check if you need some at least 5 minutes a day. Treat yourself like a plant. If you feel heavy and sad, lethargic and in pain, check on whether you are eating properly or sweating enough. Not everyone needs the same things, just like plants, we are all different.
Check different ways of eating, sweating, connecting to nature, sunlight exposure and find what works for you. Once you find that sweet spot, your body will thank you.
4. Love and appreciate its outward appearance.
Getting a little bit more shallow here, the better looking we think we are, the better we feel. As our self-confidence goes up, the way we present ourselves to the world improves. Mold your body to be whatever makes you feel the best, or more you. But, don’t forget to love what you cannot change too.
Love your face, legs, belly, arms, feet, and teeth. Love your ears, the way you laugh, how you look when you wake up. Appreciate it. There are things you’ll be able to change: by all means go ahead. But, no matter where you are in your journey, love yourself. Your body does so much for you, the least you can do is say thank you in the form of love and acceptance.