How To: Get Clear on Living the Life You Desire.
(Old post- 2022)
How to get clear on living the life you desire? Sometimes it seems the hardest part of actually “living our best life” is to know exactly what it is. We all measure success and even happiness in very different scales. The key is to find what these definitions are for you. I, for example, measure success as alignment of my inner self.
When what I think, say, and do are all the same, I have been successful at something. My definition for happiness is not excitement or joy, it is actually peace. Happiness is not something I see myself holding for extended periods of time, but peace is much more doable. I also connect this success to my state of peace.
Now the reason I am speaking of definitions of success and happiness is because these tend to be the feelings people attach to their “dream lives.” It is a good baseline to start from when one wants to get clear on the ideal and desired life, since we all have a different dream. Once these definitions are covered, the next step is to separate all the different parts of life.
Life is one as a whole, but splitting categories helps our mind get clear on each segment’s desires. Some categories to think of can be home life, romantic life, personal life, and work life.
Each category of life as it gets divided, gets a clearer picture. Where do you see yourself living? Working? Next to who? These are the main questions that you can ask yourself. Now, that tends to be harder than using another route if you cannot conjure up the perfect image of what you want.
Another way I like to get clear is with values. Do I want my life to be soft and homey? Or do I want excitement and debauchery? Maybe I want both. The clearer I can get on the feelings this dream life gives me, the clearer I can follow it in real life.
Values can be a great way to concentrate and hone what you really want. Do I desire a life full of harmony and joy? Then write down what makes you feel harmonious and joyful and pursue more of that. If you want a life full of love, what does that look like? Is it family and friendships? Is it self-love and alone time?
You really want to get as clear as possible when crafting and imagining this desired life. Without this picture it’ll get harder to say no to what does not align with you. When we say yes to things that’s don’t align, we sign ourselves up for a lesson with the universe, and I am not going to lie, they tend to hurt.
Emotions, values, and tangible objects are very much connected. Usually what we want sits after a feeling. For example, the man of your dreams is usually linked in your mind to feelings of safety, being loved, and maybe even being desired. Everyone associates different feelings to different things.
Getting very specific on why you want the material things you want will stop you from getting the wrong ones as trial and error.
The material is only second to what you want life to feel like. We mistake what we want sometimes for a feeling we think it might give us, when it was never the thing we were chasing it was the feeling itself.
There are many stories in which people chase fame, money, relationships, only to understand that it was never what they wanted. Getting clear on living the life you desire starts from the inside, not the outside. A common mistake is to work on outside first. Life is all about perspective, until you don’t get the right lens to view it it can be miserable even if you get the perfect life handed to you.
Getting clear is all about perspective, all an inside job. It won’t take a day, it might take a whole life to tweak and truly understand our desires. We change, grow, evolve, and with it our visions of what an ideal life looks like. That is okay as long as you are constantly recreating who you are in order to match up to these new versions of you. Stay true to your values, ideals, and dreams.
Exercises to help you get clear:
Write down a list of things that make you happy
Create a bucket list of what you want to experience before you die
Sit and meditate for at least 30 minutes before letting your mind wander to the ideal life picture
Use the moons to guide you thematically in the intent of finding your dream life
Live your life, it probably is what you dreamt at one point, be grateful